This post was inspired by an article found on Madame Noire (becoming one of my favorite sites)
Here's a quote for you to marinate on:
"In the Garden of Eden, Adam was a provider and a pursuer. In the book of Genesis in the Bible it speaks of the MAN being the head of the household and initiating the flow of things. When we as women pursue men in any way, this upsets the natural order causing upset and imbalance in a courtship, thus dooming any hopes of a solid healthy relationship being built in the future."
This quote immediately reminded me of the many conversations that I’ve had with both my father and other SIGNIFICANTLY OLDER male friends. It goes somewhat like this
“I saw this guy earlier at my job that I was interested in, he was handsome, very professional when we spoke briefly and I definitely was intrigued to get to know him more; if I see him again, should I go for it?”
The answer I’d get “NO!” now imagine me with the confused face on.
A few weeks later, I saw the same guy again, we made MAD eye contact, he gave me THE LOOK and it took all of me not to flirt with him, get his number and possibly talk to him more. I went home and in another conversation asked my father “how do men feel when they are approached by a woman?” And his answer went like this “MEN, and I mean a Grown Ass Man feels indifferent when a woman approaches him, she’s almost guaranteed to be labeled desperate, especially if they go out of their way, do extra sh!t to get the man to notice them- it screams I’m desperate, please please please give me attention”
I told him to go on
“a woman is a prize, when a man find a wife- he finds a good thing _REMEMBER THAT_ you shouldn’t go chasing after any man, I don’t care who he is, let him be the initiator, allow him to give you the attention, you are what completes him- not the other way around, this is just how it goes” that whole conversation thru me for a loop.
In this day & age we live in, I thought as a young bachelorette like myself- I HAD TO get in where I fit in; “a closed mouth don’t get fed” right?
it’s enough that I have to compete with the easy, do anything broads/ dudes that wanna be Mr. knock em down/ commitment-fearful/ baby after baby lil boys posing as men and just a era where men aren’t as genuine and committed as those before were. You’re telling me I also have to allow the man to come to me? And just let whom I think I could at least strike up a friendship with pass by? Of course, being a stubborn Gemini, I went ahead and talked to another guy I had been feeling, let’s just say that went nowhere very fast #FAIL.
I’m currently in the process of testing this theory, I’m going to fall all the way back and simply relax;
I’m going to allow God specifically to have full control over not just my life in general but my love life as well. I have these needs, desires, and wanting for a good man; someone that can start out as my friend, then my lover, than all that to become my husband, lifelong partner and father of our children- that I, in my mortal ignorance believe I can find on my own SMDH. Obviously I’m not too good in that department so as hard is it’s going to be, I’m gonna step back, focus on myself and my relationship with God and put these selfish desires to the side. All of this has been on my mind daily, idk why that is, but it is. My career is very important to me, so is my education and my family- unfortunately I just can’t seem to shake these wanting of a genuine male companion; that’s not just out for what’s in-between my legs.
At this point I’m not sure how it’s all gonna play out but I am going to attempt this.
I’ll share my results as they come about
Pray for me ya’ll
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