Shut Up Snow Complainers

"Topping tonight's Eyewitness News: Could it snow in the southtowns this weekend?" Yes, you idiot. It probably will. Why? Because this is Western New York and (news flash!) it snows up here!

There is nothing more annoying than watching the top story on a local Western New York newscast being an insignificant amount of snowfall, delivered by someone who probably is not even from Western New York. If we are expecting a "wrath of God" October-style snow storm then that is worth noting. But a couple of inches falling in areas world famous for snow is idiotic.

This is the time of the year where those of us that love the year-round weather in Western New York get to listen to people bitch about the snow. You can vote in a new mayor or common council, but snow is falling in Western New York regardless of who you put in office.

Remember one thing snow complainers, the snow is the reason why it is cheap enough to live in Western New York that you can afford your beat up 1989 pick up truck held together by duct tape and elegant flannel wardrobe with strategically placed holes in it. If you don't like the snow, then move. But be prepared to work a lot of extra hours at the Wal-Mart to afford a view of the sun 12 months out of the year.

The best part about snow complainers is that they act like this white and cold residue falling from the sky is something new. "Can you believe it is snowing already? In October?" Yes, dipshit. I can believe it. Why? Because I have lived in Western New York my entire life and know that it snows here! It isn't a surprise to me and it shouldn't be a surprise to you!

I am pretty sure the same thing happens in all parts of the country that experience a weather change in the winter. I would be willing to bet that there are people in Minnesota who are sick of hearing the question "Can you believe how cold it is?" every frigging winter. Yes! I can believe it! I live here! I know what to expect.

This is fall. How can you hate this?

There are also people that complain about fall. Seriously? Fall? If you prefer constant and oppressive heat with humidity in the high 90's then they have plenty of that in Florida. When you have sunk to the level of hating fall,  then you are definitely living in the wrong part of the country.

The best conversations are the ones between people who live in the southtowns and people who live in the city of Buffalo and areas north. It is really hard to find snow complainers in the southtowns of Western New York. Why? Because they know what they are getting into and have methods in place for dealing with the snow. They don't wake up on a January morning surprised by the amount of snowfall and then wonder what the hell they are going to do.

I am pretty sure that the first question a northtowns person asks a southtowns resident when they meet for the first time is "How do you deal with all of that snow?" Each time I have seen this exchange, the southtowns person gets that look on his face that just screams "idiotic question" before responding that he expects the snow and just deals with it.

If the problem is shoveling the snow, then there are probably at least a half dozen kids in your neighborhood that will shovel your walk for a few bucks. So that problem is solved. If it is the ice that builds up in your gutters and causes damage to your home that bothers you, then have some heating coils installed and that will solve that issue. If it is the constant cold, then move!

I would love to start a new trend of people in Florida, California and Texas who cannot stand these snow complainer transplants that bitch about the constant heat and humidity in the south. I have nothing against the people of Florida, California and Texas. I am just sick of the snow complainers and their bitching. Go bitch down south. I'm sure they would love you down there.