Forbidden love (The Poem)

I never thought I’d feel this way about anyone

You’ve entered a realm of me that I never knew existed…until I found you

I’ve been down this road before, only to be lead astray and left empty

Broken promises, lies and betrayal

But all that bound itself to the past, as soon as you gave me what I sought

So much time has passed; and even though we parted- this craving for you is so strong

 Not just sexual, mentally, emotionally, even physically; you’ve reached that part and made your mark

Am I foolish for succumbing to my yearnings? Am I stupid for still holding you so dear?

Maybe so, it feels so forbidden

I feel your lessoning your presence, in an effort to give me an opportunity to experience the love of another

And while I understand, you need to understand. That’s a decision that’s mine to make

I want so bad to enjoy the yesterdays; but I understand that just can’t be

It hurts to know, but I live eachday

- in constant wonder, in momentary fear, and sometimes insanity

What have you done to me? Do you understand the way I feel?

As I get better, I am still hopeful- blinded by fairy tales thoughts of what could be?

Not realizing this isn’t even up to me anymore. I hold on to what I think Is mine

But I can’t have; it feels so forbidden

No one understands my mindstate- I don’t know what direction I want to go in

I just hope that direction ends up in your arms again; but in a better relationship

Those lies, that betrayal- you brought that back into my world

And I did what I’ve done- funny how history repeats itself

I look at what I’ve been through, and sing should’ve, could’ve, would’ve

But we can’t change the past, or push back the time

We can only move forward, and you got me thinking that forward motion- doesn’t include me

My feelings run so deep for you; I feel foolish for being this way

After all this time

After  all that pain

Why does my heart still want you-nothing but you?

He could never feel that void

They could never take my place

So tell me, honestly- why?

I’ve taken the beat seat; and it feels like so much comes before me

What makes me hold on?

Why do I seek something that may never be mine again?  

Guess we always want what we can’t have- it feels so forbidden