Alone (The Poem)

In solitude, can you focus on the obstacles or the blessings?

 Seems like every day I can’t stop the endless stressing

You get up, go to your job, and work hard for a piece of change

You get off and travel home and every day, I end up emotionally the same

Walking into a dark home, never comfortable in the silence

Thoughts running through my head constantly; makes me wish I was mindless

How you go from living your dream, to somehow falling into this pit?

Trying to remain strong, taking care of yourself and home, and still dealing with bullshit

It’s far too much to bare, and sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision

But I gotta look up and find the strength he gives, otherwise he wouldn’t have put me on this mission

It’s hard though, I find myself talking to the bare walls and they seem to have more sense than me

I gotta find my footing, find my mind, or find some peace at least

They say when you don’t appreciate things the lord will take it from you

And to gain it back you have to overcome it, and not let it own you

So maybe his sudden departure set me up for something much greater

Maybe all this stressing I’m doing is something I can look back on and laugh at later

I don’t know, maybe this is what living life as an adult is all about

These are the things you deal with when you’re young, single, and living in your own house

I consider those just the beginnings of my blessings although at times I feel cursed

I look back at these past three years and still feel the stings of a healing heart’s hurt

Alone is what I’ve become, but lonely is what I cannot confuse

Better it be just me, than someone who could take the situation and abuse

Honest to god, I know there’s gotta be a better way to cope

I got faith, I got the legs to stand, and I know inside my heart there’s hope

I just need something to ease my mind that’s in such a fragile state

I know I’m going be moving soon, to where I’m not sure, but alone is not that place.